Perry Kitchen is a 22-year old soccer player with a silly fucking name. Like, seriously, Mr. and Mrs. Kitchen, your kid's last name is going to be KITCHEN. Maybe you could think about giving him a nice, normal name like John or Steve? Anything but Perry. Kid must have been teased mercilessly growing up.
Regardless, he now plays for DC United in MLS. But in 2010, he was a member of the NCAA Champion Akron Zips. And he scored an absolute peach of a goal during the early rounds of the College Cup. Enjoy.
More like the Akron RIPS, am I right???