But I digress.
Since its inception in 1992, the Premier League has seen players from more than a hundred different nations suit up for its clubs. That's a lot of very foreign, and very interesting names. Some of my favorites from years past include:
Papa Bouba Diop
Morten GAMST Pedersen
Ruud Van Nistelrooy
Alright, enough chitter chatter. On to the Best XI: Names of the EPL. We'll be using a 4-3-3 formation because we're pressing up for maximum goals. Feast or famine with this side.
G: Jussi Jääskeläinen - West Ham United
|Those thighs look awfully jussi.|
Nacho Monreal - Arsenal
I read this guy's name as "Nacho Montreal" every time, without fail. Makes me think of some fancy French-Canadian tortilla chip dish. If Ben Foster had a brother named Bananas, we could have the dessert as well as the appetizer.
Kévin Théophile-Catherine - Cardiff City
Along with having a surname composed of a Biblical term and a woman's first name, Kev here has a damn accent mark over the "e" in Kevin. How are we supposed to pronounce "Kevin" any differently? "KAYvin"?
John Arne Riise - Fulham
"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"
Ahmed Elmohamady - Hull City
|"Sandwich time for Ahmend!"|
Tom Cleverley - Manchester United
|"EW Ahmed get that sandwich outta here."|
John Mikel Obi (Mikel) - Chelsea
|Rocket fart in 3.. 2.. 1...|
Got all that?
Robert Snodgrass is the perfect name for a Scotsman. And that's what we have here. A red-nosed, bearded, evidently psychotic Scotsman.
Robert Snodgrass - Norwich City
|"IT'SA ME! WAAAARIO!"|
Peter Odemwingie - Stoke City
|"Cool story bro!"|
Sammy Ameobi - Newcastle United
Ricky van Wolfswinkel - Norwich City
|"Hooah! Gut punch activated!"|
That name was destined for stardom.
Jed Steer, Goalkeeper, Aston Villa
Lee Cattermole, Midfielder, Sunderland
Yussuf Mulumbu, Midfielder, West Bromwich Albion
Gary Hooper, Forward, Norwich City ("Hooper drives the boat, Chief!")
Adnan Januzaj, Forward, Manchester United
Romelu Lukaku, Forward, Everton
Gabriel Agbonlahor, Forward, Aston Villa