Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A Few Things We Learned From "Snowpocalypse 2013"

I spent Friday night through Tuesday morning holed up at my friends' house in Hull. Here are some observations, discoveries, and inside jokes that happened.

  1. Hull has a very resilient power grid. 
  2. Never use the ice scraper attachment to scrape the body of your car.*
  3. Beirut can be played by lantern light. 
  4. The film Act of Valor has a lot of American flags, a fair amount of terrible acting, and quite a few awesome scenes.
  5. When in doubt, use a racial slur.**
  6. NBA 2K13 is what's hot in the streets. 
  7. So is "The Harlem Shake."
  8. A sun porch can double as a walk-in refrigerator. 
  9. Sometimes, you just forget how to eat.***
  10. There are good nights and bad nights at the table. 
  11. A big empty jug of protein powder can be recycled into something very useful. 
  12. James Harden, Monta Ellis, or Kobe Bryant is your best bet to score 40+.****
  13. Hockey is a thinking man's card game. 
  14. Paranormal Activity 3 puts 50% of audience members to sleep. 
  15. Don't punch walls. 
  16. Honey Bunches of Oats (refer to #5) can be crushed up and used quite nicely as breading for chicken parm. 
  17. On a scale of 1-sandwich, I'd have to say about an 8.5. 
  18. It's cool if two people sleep in Ben's bed.
  19. Even if neither of them is Ben. 
  20. Beer cartons make good kindling. 
  21. You should be on drugs to enjoy the movie The Fall.*****
  22. Bitches be like what (refer to #5). 
  23. Always double-check the caterpillar.******
  24. Jeebus H. Malone. 
  25. Crescent rolls and bacon. All day and all night.
*Especially if it's new. 
** This only applies if you're a famous rapper and the slur in question refers to the race to which you belong.
***Even if you just bought everyone's dinner.
****MJ isn't fair.
*****We weren't.
******To me, it looks like a caterpillar. Call it what you want. 

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