Two Sentence Stories

My roommate sent me this list of 40 scary two-sentence stories last night, and I spent about half an hour reading them and others of the same format. I love this type of shit. I think it's incredible how you can elicit so much emotion or shock from two sentences. I also think the format works well for any genre, although probably best for horror.

Update: Tim (proprietor of a fine blog called Timbo Sliced) and I are going to engage in a blog-off on this topic. We each get ten stories, any genre, and let our esteemed readers decide the victor.

Here is the link to his stories: http://timbosliced.blogspot.com/2013/11/two-sentence-stories-blog-off.html

And here are mine:

Scary(ish)

1. Sleepwalking was always a problem for me, until I dreamt of flying. Now I'm relieved to wake up in my own bed every morning, and it's getting less difficult to haul my broken body into the wheelchair.

2. Minutes after letting her new golden retriever puppy out to play in the yard, she heard three sounds: a loud thump, a pained squeal, and a text message alert. "Pulling into the driveway now," read the text.

3. She took the stairs in slow, measured steps, dutifully ignoring the shattered wooden banister and shards of  blue-veined pottery strewn across the thick carpet. Though the light breeze from the broken living room window told her all she needed to know, she still read the hastily scrawled note her father left under her pillow: "They found us. I'm sorry."

4. Suspended in the dawn air after leaping off the diving board, he looked down. The large crack in the pool floor leered at him through two inches of brown water.

Funny(ish)

5.  It seemed that she saw less and less of her family with each passing week, though she still heard plenty from them. When it became difficult to eat, she decided she should finally get a haircut.

6. I woke up in a new Bugatti. I think I stole a new Bugatti.

7. I told my roommate I was bringing two wicked cute chicks home. I was disappointed when he wasn't there to greet me - these birds aren't going to cuddle themselves.

8. These days, there are so many homeless vagrants begging for change, it's hard to get noticed. The other day, I performed open-heart surgery on a foot-long rat right there on the subway platform, and all I got was an expired Kohl's gift card.

9. "HEY! Who cut the cheese??" yelled the chairman of the Cheese Wheel Appreciation Committee. Sheepishly, Edward Scissorhands mumbled, "I was hungry."

10. I had the same dream again: I'm standing in a horribly smelly landfill, gazing at the most majestic full moon I've ever seen. It only happens when my older brother has friends sleep over, and I still can't understand why they call me "Pinkeye."