Gronk Out

Rob Gronkowski had one of the best games of his very young and VERY promising career. He essentially had the tight end's version of a perfect game: 7 catches on 7 targets, 137 yards, two TDs. Then he broke his arm. Now he's out for the next 4-6 weeks (emphasis on the 6).

Upon hearing this news I had so many thoughts explode into my brain within milliseconds of each other that I felt the need to blog them in bullet format:

• WHAT THE F***!!!!!!????
• Hold on, he's Gronk, his bones are made of moose antlers and blue whale jaws. Those can't break.
• Can they?
• Just checked ESPN. Apparently they can. 
• F***!!!!!!!!
• My fantasy team has won four straight games. I'm in the middle of a late-season surge!! My second round pick cannot cannot CANNOT leave me like this!!! 
• That was selfish.
• Who cares, it's true. 
• Plus, that league's a $20 buy in and I'm cash-strapped. Goddammit. 
• Well, he IS Gronk, maybe he'll be back in 2-3 weeks instead of 4-6.
• Wait, how did that work out in the Super Bowl last year?
• Effing terrible.
•  At least Aaron Hernandez is coming back soon. 
• Hopefully.
• Hold on, how did he break his arm in the first place? Wasn't he killin' it the whole game?
• IT WAS WHILE HE WAS BLOCKING ON THE EXTRA POINT TO MAKE IT 59-24?????????
• HOLY GODFORSAKEN HOODED SWEATSHIRTS BILL BELICHICK WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
• Why. Why was your already legendary tight end blocking on a COMPLETELY meaningless extra point at the end of a shellackingly humongous blowout victory?
• Wait. Let's be calm (F*** CALM) - he blocks on every extra point. This was no different. 
• Still, injuries seem to happen in games like these. Speculating here, but when you're not playing at 100% effort, weird things happen. 
•  Whatever, we'll still score 40 points a game. 
• (Pouty little kid crying face): No more spikes? :(