I think stuff like this is interesting.
So for work I have to set up an account with this online service that deals with all the employee's requests for vacations, time away from the office, that kind of thing. You have to set a security question, as with most online services, and there are a multitude of different questions, all designed to only have one answer that you can call to mind easily.
The problem is, for me, only one of these questions has a clear, single answer.
Let's go through them, shall we?
Q: "1. What was the last name of your childhood best friend?"
A: Demers, Gentile, Hall, Rose, Walls, Wicks are all perfectly acceptable answers, written in random order so as not to anger anyone. So that's not a very good question. Let's move on.
Q: "2. What was the first name of your best man at your wedding?"
A: Wedding hasn't happened yet. Plus I'm an only child, so it's kind of a battle between the aforementioned best friends. Let's not dwell on that.
Q: "3. What was the first name of your maid of honor at your wedding?"
A: Does not apply for two reasons. You figure it out.
Q: "4. What was the first name of your first college roommate?"
A: I had a lovely time in my triple with Sam and Jared. So this doesn't have a single, easy answer either.
Q: "5. What is your maternal grandmother's first name?"
A: Funny story, actually. She was born Rubydene Hudgens, down in the heart of Joe-juh (that's Georgia for you Northerners) with her sister Ernestine. When she moved up here, she decided to drop the "Ruby" (like many a Boston College sophomore when faced with a campus policeman) and just become "Dene." So, again, no easy answer there. Moving on.
Q: "6. What is your paternal grandmother's first name?"
A: Come to think of it, I don't know. For as long as I can remember, I've called her "Nana." My mom calls her "Dad's mother," and my dad calls her "Nana" or "mom." Now, I obviously know her name, but that doesn't help much either. It's Betty. And yes, Betty is PROBABLY short for "Elizabeth." But it might not be! She's like 95 years old, I don't know what kinds of crazy names parents were giving their children back in 1920, especially immigrant parents from Sweden who were soon to abandon their child altogether and leave her to grow up in various foster homes and orphanages. Could be Bettiane. Could be Bettinski. Could just be Betty. The world may never know.
Q: "7. What is your paternal grandfather's first name?"
A: This is the easy one. It's George. The funny part? I've never met him. He died when my dad (now 69 years old) was about 20.
Q: "8. What is your mother's middle name?"
A: Another interesting story. My mom's original name was Cynthia Lee White. Lee was in homage to General Robert E. Lee, the great Confederate general. Remember how I said my maternal grandmother was from Georgia? Yeah. But then when my mom married my dad, she sort of dropped the Lee, shunted the White over a bit, and changed her middle name. Sort of. Like, on her social security card I think it says Cynthia White Vogel. But in the phone book I think she's Cynthia L. Vogel. And then other places I've seen her still go by her maiden name altogether. There's no rhyme or reason on that front.
Names are silly. I'll just go with Question 7: George.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
New Short Story
Just finished a new short story, and it turned out pretty long. You might have to read it in chunks or something, but I kind of just kept writing.
The inspiration for this came from a story about a person during the Mexican-American war, sitting around a campfire with a knife in his hand. That story was pretty boring and I don't think I ever read the whole thing, but that scene stuck with me.
Hope you like it.
The inspiration for this came from a story about a person during the Mexican-American war, sitting around a campfire with a knife in his hand. That story was pretty boring and I don't think I ever read the whole thing, but that scene stuck with me.
Hope you like it.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
A Quick Thought
Don't we all have those coach thoughts? Not tactical adjustments, but the big, overarching themes we'd like to tell some coaches so they don't keep screwing up what seems like an easy job?
I do.
One of them goes something like this. If you're in the playoffs, and matched up against a team who has roughly the same "level" - that is, they're not CLEARLY better or worse than you - you can win by taking advantage of their weaknesses.
Doesn't that seem like the easiest thing ever?
But some coaches don't do it, and try to bull their way into victories with the same strategy that got them there - a kind of "Damn the torpedoes!" approach that rarely leads to great results against similarly-matched teams.
Worse, some coaches do what Dan Bylsma did against the Bruins, and try to beat the opponent at their own game. In a playoff series, this is a recipe for disaster. Maybe the Penguins could have outmuscled the Bruins in a meaningless game in February in Pittsburgh, but there was absolutely ZERO chance that the B's, in this postseason, were going to lose to a team who tried to out-tough them. Because, quite frankly, you can't out-tough them.
The Pens should have played their game - speed, skill, and silky passing - and endured the Bruins bruising style. Their snipers would have been able to put a few more goals on the board if they weren't constantly racing to backcheck after another failed dump, chase, and squash against the boards.
A GREAT example of how to do this comes from the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals. From Grantland: "The Spurs have rebounded 30.5 percent of their own misses in this series. That would have ranked fourth overall for the season. The Spurs ranked 29th during the year, and they almost take pride in minimizing the importance of crashing the offensive glass."
The Spurs are not a great offensive rebounding team. HOWEVER, they found a weakness in the Heat, namely that they are lazy and undedicated basketball players who refuse to box out, and are exploiting it to their advantage.
Go Spurs, and go Bruins.
I do.
One of them goes something like this. If you're in the playoffs, and matched up against a team who has roughly the same "level" - that is, they're not CLEARLY better or worse than you - you can win by taking advantage of their weaknesses.
Doesn't that seem like the easiest thing ever?
But some coaches don't do it, and try to bull their way into victories with the same strategy that got them there - a kind of "Damn the torpedoes!" approach that rarely leads to great results against similarly-matched teams.
Worse, some coaches do what Dan Bylsma did against the Bruins, and try to beat the opponent at their own game. In a playoff series, this is a recipe for disaster. Maybe the Penguins could have outmuscled the Bruins in a meaningless game in February in Pittsburgh, but there was absolutely ZERO chance that the B's, in this postseason, were going to lose to a team who tried to out-tough them. Because, quite frankly, you can't out-tough them.
The Pens should have played their game - speed, skill, and silky passing - and endured the Bruins bruising style. Their snipers would have been able to put a few more goals on the board if they weren't constantly racing to backcheck after another failed dump, chase, and squash against the boards.
A GREAT example of how to do this comes from the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals. From Grantland: "The Spurs have rebounded 30.5 percent of their own misses in this series. That would have ranked fourth overall for the season. The Spurs ranked 29th during the year, and they almost take pride in minimizing the importance of crashing the offensive glass."
The Spurs are not a great offensive rebounding team. HOWEVER, they found a weakness in the Heat, namely that they are lazy and undedicated basketball players who refuse to box out, and are exploiting it to their advantage.
Go Spurs, and go Bruins.
The Championship Mentality of a Boston Sports Team
Before the Boston Bruins suit up and try to take down the Chicago Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup Finals Wednesday night, let's take a step back and survey the Boston sports landscape as a whole.
Specifically, I want to look at what makes a champion in Boston.This is not going to be a roster breakdown. I'm not going to come out with any groundbreaking statistical analysis proving that Kevin Youkilis's OPS was equivalent to Tedy Bruschi's forced fumbles percentage (is that even a stat?) or something.
I just want to discuss the general feeling that I get from a championship Boston team, and how we might have more than just one parade in our not-too-distant future.
I'll go in chronological order, starting with the greatest dynasty since the Targaryens, the Early-2000s Patriots.
These days, the Patriots are known for one thing: offense. However you want to slice it, we're an offensive juggernaut: Brady to Gronk, Brady to Hernandez, Brady to Welker and Moss (RIP). We own the best prolonged aerial attack since, well, the Targaryens.
But it wasn't always this way.
Back when I was but a wee boy of 11, in the 2001-2002 season, the Patriots were a defense-first team. Belichick was known around the league as a defensive guru, and we allowed the 6th-fewest points in the league that season.
We had stud defenders (a wholly different class of players than the "stars" who come with their own tents and peanut vendors) who were in their prime: Lawyer Milloy (28), Ty Law (27), Tedy Bruschi (28), and Willie McGinest (30). We also had a young talent by the name of Richard Seymour.
We hit teams in the mouth from the opening whistle, and it took us all the way to perhaps the most unlikely championship in the history of the NFL, as a first-year quarterback named Tom Brady ran a picture-perfect two-minute drill to get the ball onto the foot of the the most clutch kicker of all time. (Aside: listen to Pat Summerall's call of that kick. Has anyone ever discussed this? Dude sounds like he's announcing a high school JV first-quarter extra point two weeks after he watched his grandson get hit by a bus.)
We were outgained 427-267 in total yards. We also forced three turnovers that we turned into 17 of the 20 points we eventually needed to win. That was the Patriot Way. Don't screw up, execute when it counts, and make the other team fear your defense.
It worked for two of the next three years as well, and the Pats won the Super Bowl after the '03 and '04 season.
But it couldn't be that way forever. Brady seemed to develop a fondness for the word "super" in the following years: going supernova in starpower, dating supermodels, and losing Super Bowls. My opinion? We traded our toughness for finesse. Less bludgeoning opponents to death Mike Tyson-style, and more trying to tiki-taka our way into the endzone, Xavi-style.
Needless to say, our Super Bowl record since trading in our Hulk hands defense for a pair of Kenny Wu's skates is 0-2.
Let's move on to a team that took care of the middle of the decade, the 2004 and 2007 Red Sox.
Now, I'm not going to claim that the 2004 Team of Destiny was anything other than pure magic. But, like most magic, it needed the right circumstances to be able to occur. Much like Daenerys Targaryen (can't seem to leave them alone) needed a funeral pyre for her husband in order for her dragon eggs to hatch, those '04 Sox had the scrappiest, weirdest, and most importantly, loosest bunch of dirtbags in the league, and they were perfectly suited to pull off the madness that they needed.
Baseball is a different animal than football, but one constant remains if you want to taste success: defense. Of course, in baseball, defense starts with pitching.
And pitching starts with the starters. Some quick stats. Curt Schilling. 21-6, 3.26 ERA. A truly dominant year. Somehow Johan Santana won the Cy Young that year by winning one less game, and having an ERA about 6 points lower. Regardless, Schill was a horse.
So was Pedro Martinez: 16-9, 3.9 ERA. Decent, but not great, by his standards. More important? 217 innings pitched. Like Todd McShay said, the best ability is availability. Pedro had a productive, healthy year, not taxing his bullpen.
We all know what happened in October. David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, and Johnny Damon were our studs (though Manny turned into a "star" and has since paid the price), and our lineup was rounded out with the choicest selections of scrappy goodness this side of a Vietnamese cockfight. Just listen to this ALCS Game 7 lineup:
Damon
Mark Bellhorn (strikeout king and playoff stud)
Manny
Ortiz
Jason Varitek (Captain)
Trot Nixon (body is 70% water, 30% warning track dirt)
Kevin Millar (idiot, in more ways than 1)
Bill Mueller (unlikely batting champ)
Orlando Cabrera (classic Sox defensive shortstop)
This team simply outworked other teams. They ground out at-bats, wore down opponents with great starting pitching, and played loose and fun at the same time. A hard combination to beat.
The 2007 team was kind of the same, but substitute Josh Beckett (20-7, 3.27) for Schilling and Tim Wakefield (17-12, 4.76, 190 IP) for Pedro. Also, remember Daisuke Matsuzaka? 2007 was his first year in the MLB, and the gyroball fooled a few people, to the tune of 15-12, 4.40, 206 IP.
On offense, it was just a perfect storm. Pedroia and Ellsbury were up-and-coming stars. Ortiz and Mike Lowell (World Series MVP) finished 4-5 in the regular season MVP voting. Tek was Tek, Youk was Youk, and Manny was Manny.
But overall, we had that feel to our team. It just seemed that all throughout the lineup, even down to ole cereal bowl Coco Crisp, we had people who could pop off for a timely hit. We weren't quite the scrappy, unkempt bunch that pulled off a smash-and-grab title in 2004, but there was something down-to-earth and endearing about the '07 Sox. Manny hid in the Monster, for God's sake.
Which takes us to our third entrant in the Boston sports decade of champions, the 2008 Boston Celtics.
Now, although I have played basketball since I learned to walk, I must say that I despise the NBA. Not for some unusual reason, either, but for all the normal ones: too much one-on-one, not enough defense, nobody tries until the playoffs, etc.
However, I loved that 2008 team. Of all the squads here, that team may have had the most "scrap-swagger," a term I just made up. Scrap-swagger basically means that you know you're not a superstar, but you're gonna play and act like one, and say a big eff you to everyone who wants to put you on SportsCenter as the "nobody" who made big plays.
Of course, the NBA is all about swagger, so it's no surprise that the C's had scrap-swagger in spades. To go along with the first true Big 3 since the days of Larry Legend, we had such scrappy studs as Glen (Big Baby) Davis, Eddie House, Kendrick Perkins, and, of course, Brian (Scals) Scalabrine.
Because the Big 3 of Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett was assembled late in everyone's career, when they were all trusted (and wily) vets, and since Scals looked like your local roofer, and due to the fact that most of our bench guys (Powe, Posey, and PJ Brown) could have been bouncing outside Tequila Rain and no one would have known them, this team felt like an underdog, good-guy team despite its .805 regular season winning percentage.
Pierce was our leading scorer, but he only averaged a shade over 19 a game. Ray Allen led the team in minutes, sprinting around the court draining threes and (usually) covering the other team's best player. Perk led the team in shooting percentage, mainly because he never took a shot from outside six feet. I could write another whole post on Perk, and what he meant to this team, but to keep it short (even though it's already INSANELY long), let's just say this. Letting Kendrick Perkins go did to the Celtics what changing from a defense-first team to an offense-first team did to the Patriots.
Cumulative championships for those teams after these changes? Zero.
And we've come to our last squad, and one that has the chance to put another banner into the rafters of the TD Garden: the 2011 Boston Bruins.
First of all, the current B's squad has 17 holdovers from that championship club, which bodes extremely well for our chances in the Finals. It also means that I'm pretty sure we're still in the middle of one of these runs that I'm talking about.
The 2011 Bruins team was so easy to like, it was scary. They were like a combination of every great family member you've ever had. Seguin was your adorable little brother, who the entire family can't get enough of. Recchi was your crazy drunk uncle with more stories than DUIs, but not by many. (Granted, I know Rex wasn't like this in real life, but it was fun to think of him like that, and he played like the wiliest of veterans, giving him that aura. Plus, c'mon now.) Tim Thomas was the dad who didn't talk much at family parties, but just kind of sat in the corner with his beer and made everyone feel a little more comfortable. I could go on.
We weren't the most skilled team that year, but rarely in the NHL does the most skilled team win the title. Look at the Penguins this year. Timmy had a run that few goalkeepers have ever duplicated (don't look now, but Tuukk is duplicating it pretty damn well). We got huge goals when we needed them and, much like the early Patriots, we punished teams. In that Stanley Cup Finals, the Canucks were the Rams, we were the Patriots, and the Sedin twins were Isaac Bruce and Torrey Holt: small, skilled offensive weapons who were neutralized because they were afraid to get their heads taken off.
This is what every Boston sports team, except perhaps the current Bruins and Red Sox, is missing in some way: the desire to stomp on an opponent defensively, the willpower to ensure that that opponent knows they are going to lose, and most importantly, the blue-collar, lunchpail-type mentality that defines this town.
I know it's cliche, but it's true. We're a city of underdogs. We're not the biggest, brightest, fastest, or newest. But we pride ourselves on working the hardest. That's what champions do, and that's what we want to see in the Boston teams that win for us.
It's time for the Bruins to show that they are true Boston champions.
Let's move on to a team that took care of the middle of the decade, the 2004 and 2007 Red Sox.
Now, I'm not going to claim that the 2004 Team of Destiny was anything other than pure magic. But, like most magic, it needed the right circumstances to be able to occur. Much like Daenerys Targaryen (can't seem to leave them alone) needed a funeral pyre for her husband in order for her dragon eggs to hatch, those '04 Sox had the scrappiest, weirdest, and most importantly, loosest bunch of dirtbags in the league, and they were perfectly suited to pull off the madness that they needed.
Baseball is a different animal than football, but one constant remains if you want to taste success: defense. Of course, in baseball, defense starts with pitching.
And pitching starts with the starters. Some quick stats. Curt Schilling. 21-6, 3.26 ERA. A truly dominant year. Somehow Johan Santana won the Cy Young that year by winning one less game, and having an ERA about 6 points lower. Regardless, Schill was a horse.
So was Pedro Martinez: 16-9, 3.9 ERA. Decent, but not great, by his standards. More important? 217 innings pitched. Like Todd McShay said, the best ability is availability. Pedro had a productive, healthy year, not taxing his bullpen.
We all know what happened in October. David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, and Johnny Damon were our studs (though Manny turned into a "star" and has since paid the price), and our lineup was rounded out with the choicest selections of scrappy goodness this side of a Vietnamese cockfight. Just listen to this ALCS Game 7 lineup:
Damon
Mark Bellhorn (strikeout king and playoff stud)
Manny
Ortiz
Jason Varitek (Captain)
Trot Nixon (body is 70% water, 30% warning track dirt)
Kevin Millar (idiot, in more ways than 1)
Bill Mueller (unlikely batting champ)
Orlando Cabrera (classic Sox defensive shortstop)
This team simply outworked other teams. They ground out at-bats, wore down opponents with great starting pitching, and played loose and fun at the same time. A hard combination to beat.
The 2007 team was kind of the same, but substitute Josh Beckett (20-7, 3.27) for Schilling and Tim Wakefield (17-12, 4.76, 190 IP) for Pedro. Also, remember Daisuke Matsuzaka? 2007 was his first year in the MLB, and the gyroball fooled a few people, to the tune of 15-12, 4.40, 206 IP.
On offense, it was just a perfect storm. Pedroia and Ellsbury were up-and-coming stars. Ortiz and Mike Lowell (World Series MVP) finished 4-5 in the regular season MVP voting. Tek was Tek, Youk was Youk, and Manny was Manny.
But overall, we had that feel to our team. It just seemed that all throughout the lineup, even down to ole cereal bowl Coco Crisp, we had people who could pop off for a timely hit. We weren't quite the scrappy, unkempt bunch that pulled off a smash-and-grab title in 2004, but there was something down-to-earth and endearing about the '07 Sox. Manny hid in the Monster, for God's sake.
Which takes us to our third entrant in the Boston sports decade of champions, the 2008 Boston Celtics.
Now, although I have played basketball since I learned to walk, I must say that I despise the NBA. Not for some unusual reason, either, but for all the normal ones: too much one-on-one, not enough defense, nobody tries until the playoffs, etc.
However, I loved that 2008 team. Of all the squads here, that team may have had the most "scrap-swagger," a term I just made up. Scrap-swagger basically means that you know you're not a superstar, but you're gonna play and act like one, and say a big eff you to everyone who wants to put you on SportsCenter as the "nobody" who made big plays.
Of course, the NBA is all about swagger, so it's no surprise that the C's had scrap-swagger in spades. To go along with the first true Big 3 since the days of Larry Legend, we had such scrappy studs as Glen (Big Baby) Davis, Eddie House, Kendrick Perkins, and, of course, Brian (Scals) Scalabrine.
Because the Big 3 of Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett was assembled late in everyone's career, when they were all trusted (and wily) vets, and since Scals looked like your local roofer, and due to the fact that most of our bench guys (Powe, Posey, and PJ Brown) could have been bouncing outside Tequila Rain and no one would have known them, this team felt like an underdog, good-guy team despite its .805 regular season winning percentage.
Pierce was our leading scorer, but he only averaged a shade over 19 a game. Ray Allen led the team in minutes, sprinting around the court draining threes and (usually) covering the other team's best player. Perk led the team in shooting percentage, mainly because he never took a shot from outside six feet. I could write another whole post on Perk, and what he meant to this team, but to keep it short (even though it's already INSANELY long), let's just say this. Letting Kendrick Perkins go did to the Celtics what changing from a defense-first team to an offense-first team did to the Patriots.
Cumulative championships for those teams after these changes? Zero.
And we've come to our last squad, and one that has the chance to put another banner into the rafters of the TD Garden: the 2011 Boston Bruins.
First of all, the current B's squad has 17 holdovers from that championship club, which bodes extremely well for our chances in the Finals. It also means that I'm pretty sure we're still in the middle of one of these runs that I'm talking about.
The 2011 Bruins team was so easy to like, it was scary. They were like a combination of every great family member you've ever had. Seguin was your adorable little brother, who the entire family can't get enough of. Recchi was your crazy drunk uncle with more stories than DUIs, but not by many. (Granted, I know Rex wasn't like this in real life, but it was fun to think of him like that, and he played like the wiliest of veterans, giving him that aura. Plus, c'mon now.) Tim Thomas was the dad who didn't talk much at family parties, but just kind of sat in the corner with his beer and made everyone feel a little more comfortable. I could go on.
We weren't the most skilled team that year, but rarely in the NHL does the most skilled team win the title. Look at the Penguins this year. Timmy had a run that few goalkeepers have ever duplicated (don't look now, but Tuukk is duplicating it pretty damn well). We got huge goals when we needed them and, much like the early Patriots, we punished teams. In that Stanley Cup Finals, the Canucks were the Rams, we were the Patriots, and the Sedin twins were Isaac Bruce and Torrey Holt: small, skilled offensive weapons who were neutralized because they were afraid to get their heads taken off.
This is what every Boston sports team, except perhaps the current Bruins and Red Sox, is missing in some way: the desire to stomp on an opponent defensively, the willpower to ensure that that opponent knows they are going to lose, and most importantly, the blue-collar, lunchpail-type mentality that defines this town.
I know it's cliche, but it's true. We're a city of underdogs. We're not the biggest, brightest, fastest, or newest. But we pride ourselves on working the hardest. That's what champions do, and that's what we want to see in the Boston teams that win for us.
It's time for the Bruins to show that they are true Boston champions.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
"Game of Thrones" Analysis featuring Drew Galloway
Back to our regularly scheduled programming. AKA I send Drew a wicked long email and he responds. Here ya go!
May 13 (6 days ago)
 | | |||
Hey,
So clearly my previous effort asked you far too many questions. I got a little excited, it's Game of Thrones, what are ya gonna do?
So, if you scroll past my nonsense ramblings, I've only asked two questions this week. And I'm trying to keep this short and sweet. Less is more.
Ok, here we go.
First, this episode (307 - "The Bear and the Maiden Fair") was written by George R.R. Martin, author of the original book series. This immediately excited me, but then I remembered that if I had my way, he would be locked in a dungeon, similar to the one in which we find Theon, finishing the novels before he dies of old age.
Also, did you know GRRM is a Jets fan?
Moving on.
Quotes of the week include the following:
Random Stark bannerman (possibly a Tully, I don't care to look it up): "I've seen wet shits I liked better than Walder Frey."
Bronn had a terrific day, with: "How did marrying a whore work out for you the first time?" and "You waste time trying to get people to love you, you'll end up the most popular dead man in town." and also "You pay me to kill people who bother you. Evil notions come free."
Jaime with a Catholic priest joke to his doctor: "So why did the Citadel take your chain? Did you fondle one boy too many?"
Back to the notes.
I think Robb's girl is a Lannister spy. They've already departed from the books in not making her a random maiden from the West (which would actually have given her a better possibility of being a Lannister spy, incidentally), and she writes in a language that Robb can't read. She's using her feminine wiles to win his heart, while her head spins circles around his. SPOILER ALERT: I think she's got something to do with the planning of the Red Wedding.
Either way, we now know that this relationship is well and truly fucked. There's no hope for them in the long term, and not really even in the longer short term. And why is that? Because Robb did the unthinkable. He said the one thing that you are ABSOLUTELY not allowed to say in this series.
He said he loved her.
My actual note reads: "NO NO NO ROBB NEVER SAY THE L WORD." Love was the theme of this episode, and love is nearly impossible in this society.
Think about any relationship in this story. Every single one is completely screwy. No one, and I repeat, NO ONE in this story has something even resembling a healthy, loving relationship. And not just romantic love either. Take the crazed parental love of Lady Arryn, Cersei, or Cat (or Dany, if we're really getting weird). Or the grumbling, vengeful rage that first Tyrion, and now Cersei, feel for their father. And don't even get me started on what Jaime and Cersei have.
The only relationships that were presumably happy and kind of normal were those of Ned Stark (dead), Jon Arryn (dead), and Tywin and his unnamed wife (long dead).
It seems, when playing the Game, there is no room for love in the equation.
This is why I love watching the Jon-Ygritte dynamic. It's clear that Jon is no wildling. His upbringing still hangs heavy about him like a cartoon rain cloud, and occasionally forces him to spout unhappy truths like his "Six times" monologue. He loves Ygritte, but he grew up south of the Wall. He knows that love is useless.
She, on the other hand, is a hopeless romantic and an extreme pragmatist all wrapped up in one flame-headed wildling. I think this is why I love her so much. She repeats the Jason-Mraz-inspired Tyrion-Shae mantra ("You are mine, and I am yours") with a zeal that makes you believe that SHE believes it. She's in it for Jon. Realistic about the future, which most likely includes her early death, but desperate and unashamed to spend her present with the man she loves.
See my question #1 below for more on this concept.
On another note, George R.R. Martin is a horny old bastard. There was a serious amount of nudity on this Mother's Day episode, including a scene plucked straight from a Saw knock-off porno: the Varys-ization of Theon Greyjoy. I can only imagine the awkward familial interactions this scene in particular spawned (pun intended) in living rooms around the country.
If you haven't seen it, please view this Tyrion and Bronn "Calvin and Hobbes" picture.
It's perfect. Bronn dispensing simple truth bombs while protecting the little one from all manner of seen and unseen enemies.
Speaking of truth bombs, Shae drops them as well. Tyrion is surrounded by truth-flinging brunettes. Kind of the exact opposite of his family. Probably the way he likes it. What I'm wondering is, why does Shae like him so much? She doesn't seem to care about money, clearly can't have any illusions about power, and has to remain hidden at all times. Seems like a shitty way to live, especially if your reward between the sheets is someone who was once mistaken for a child between the sheets by Tina Fey
Quick random timing question: The last dragon died out with a skull no bigger than an apple. The monster ones that roamed the skies and melted Harrenhal died 300 years before that. I kind of thought dragons lived for at least several human lifetimes, but it would seem that there had to be at least 7-10 dragon generations between the carriage-headed dragon of 300 years ago and the apple-headed one of, let's say, 75 years ago. How long do dragons live? Are we talking dog years here? If so, are Dany's three going through their teen angst, or does that come when SPOILER ALERT Drogon up and peaces the fuck out for weeks on end?
Random Note Time:
In which I jot down what I jotted down while watching the show.
This scene with Tywin and Joffrey wouldn't have been in the books, as neither of them were POV characters.
Grey Worm looks like Colin Kaepernick
How long does it take to set up these elaborate camp tents for Robb and Dany?
Dany is becoming RUTHLESS in her emancipation efforts. Interesting to look at why. She was sold as a slave, but made the best of it (understatement) and became Khaleesi of the greatest khalasar on the Dothraki Sea. Conversely, she saved a woman from becoming a slave (Mirri Maz Duur) and, because she had not saved her in a more timely fashion, it cost her the life of her beloved Khal Drogo and her unborn child, who would have been the Stallion that Mounts the World.
You'd think she'd want to enslave everyone.
Foreshadowing from Tyrion as he gives Shae "chains of gold." I was wondering how they would make that future scene work, as the item denoting the Hand of the King is now a stickpin, rather than a necklace.
I think Arya is confused. She proclaims to follow Death as her only God. SPOILER ALERT This is foreshadowing for her future efforts across the Narrow Sea.
However, the only encounters she's had with death besides that of her father have been from the hand of Jaqen H'Ghar, who follows the Red God aka the Lord of Light. So really, she's a follower of that religion.
Finally, it seems no good deed goes unpunished for Jaime Lannister. Saving Brienne from the frying pan of being raped by Locke and his followers earlier in the season, he's now unintentionally thrown her into the fire of being held ransom for far more than her father can ever pay (due to Jaime's lie that Brienne's father owns all the sapphires in the Seven Kingdoms). This is highly typical of George RR Martin's world, where nothing good ever works out and oftentimes, everything positive turns negative.
Also, if Jaime had hopped down into the bear pit with no sword and no right arm and said "I immediately regret this decision", that would have been awesome.
BUT more importantly, from this situation comes my second and final question. Read on.
Question # 1: To borrow a line from Haddaway and the Butabi brothers "What is Love?"
But seriously. More to the point, what can people who have to play the Game (nobles, highborns, etc.) reasonably expect from their romantic relationships?
Question # 2: There seems to be no form of media in this society. No printed news, no books that haven't been written by hand, and certainly no long-distance communication except by faulty ravens. How did this affect the Jaime-Brienne fiasco that played out in this episode, and how do you think it has affected the series as a whole? Think about how Westeros views Dany and vice versa, and how the various Kingdoms of Westeros feel about different events.
Finally, I would be remiss without mentioning THE UNDISPUTED BIGGEST COMEBACK IN THE HISTORY OF HOCKEY
NO SELLOUT NO SURRENDER LET'S GO B'S
Robbie
9:23 PM (14 hours ago)
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Ok so first point----the guy with the incredible line about liking wet shits more than walder frey is breydan the blackfish tully---reasonably important character
I like your theory on robb's woman---they have departed a lot so it wouldnt be a shock if she betrays him............BUT i doubt it now that they made her knocked up---b/c of this she clearly must die when robb dies so their son is killed so sansa becomes heir to winterfell (b/c everyone assumes rickon and bran muffin are dead)
Arya is the best.....her death response was chilling. I cant wait until she becomes the ultimate assassin----think jason bourne meets uma thurman (kill bill) meets jack bauer meets----------WAIT 24 IS BACK?!?!?!!???!????? Holy shit a subject for another day (and thread)
On to your questions:
1) Sex. Then less sex as they cheat on each other. Then death. There is basically no hope for any good relationships. On the surface, ned and cat's relationship seemed great----but then we found out she was promised to his brother, ned fathered a bastard (allegedly), and ned is never home always fighting & then getting his chopped
2) good point about the media. Everything is done through ravens so it presumably takes months (atleast) to receive news in westeros and even longer coming from across the sea. It affects the series by creating more uncertainty. Nobody knows whether dany is a threat or not. Nobody knew where tywin was leading the army until he showed up & crushed stannis. Although curiously winterfell heard quite quickly about ned's death. So maybe there's inconsistancy. But your point remains. I like it.
Pumped for next week.....aka tomorrow
Sunday, May 12, 2013
"Game of Thrones" Analysis (Not) featuring Drew Galloway
Slight change of plan. Turns out Drew has an actual big boy job where he has to, you know, work and stuff. So his time to answer stupendously long emails is limited.
So, here's my email to him from last week, regarding GoT episode 306 "The Climb."
He gets a pass for last week, and I'm going to be ABSOLUTELY SURE to cut down my questions to the 2 most vital ones, so that we can fire back some email exchanges for your reading pleasure.
Now, I'm off to watch episode 307.
Dracarys.
So, here's my email to him from last week, regarding GoT episode 306 "The Climb."
He gets a pass for last week, and I'm going to be ABSOLUTELY SURE to cut down my questions to the 2 most vital ones, so that we can fire back some email exchanges for your reading pleasure.
Now, I'm off to watch episode 307.
Dracarys.
May 7 (5 days ago)
 | | |||
Hey there,
Also, for clarity, my questions to you will be at the end.
Let me have the first “I called it” moment of this young feature: I CALLED IT! TRAVELING EPISODE! For God’s sake it was called “The Climb,” and the first three scenes (Sam and Gilly, Bran and Jojen, Arya and the Brotherhood) show a nation on the move – but to what goal? I think people might forget – I kind of do – that Bran is running from Theon and his men towards Jon, whom he was just alerted last night is now north of the Wall and surrounded by enemies. That was a big example of dramatic irony, where the audience knows something the character doesn’t, and it robbed the scene of any impact it could have had.
Moving on, Ygritte is my favorite character. Maybe not in the books, but definitely in the show. “
Don’t ever betray me – cuz I’ll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it around my neck.” This sentence, combined with her statement about the fact that she and Jon have to look after each other, is her in a nutshell. Fiercely loyal to those she cares about, she demands that same level of loyalty, and she’s not afraid to get nasty. In a few different ways.
My next note revolves around the GIANT plot twist that occurred in the next scene.
WAIT WHAT – THOROS OF MYR JUST GOT A RAISE. Why is he all of a sudden the center of a new subplot? Although this is perfect for my discussion from last week, where I asked why everyone doesn’t just adopt the Red God.
In the books it was always a little questionable which deity/ deities were the best: the old Gods, the Seven, or the Lord of Light. Now, from these quotes, it seems pretty obvious: “Our God is the one true God.” This happened in the conversation between Melisandre and Thoros, and I think she said it to him. Seems like a pretty legit statement, especially when coinciding with Thoros’s abilities in the resurrection department.
“You will make kings rise and fall.” This was Melisandre to Gendry, and I was a little confused about this. I researched it a bit, and I’m still not all the way convinced, except I think she means to use Gendry (Robert Baratheon’s bastard son) in some kind of R’hllor-based ritual – maybe more shadowbabymaking?
SIDENOTE: Thrones threw in a “back from the other side” bit from Beric, who’s died a handful of times.
It’s interesting that Melisandre assumed that there is something over there, and Beric said: “There is no other side. Only darkness.” This has to be about the most horrifying answer imaginable for a priestess who’s dedicated her life to serving the Lord of Light.
Another random note I had: “The wall would have to be so much more slanted for it to work. Although it’s magic.” AKA, a structure that’s 700 feet tall and (conservatively) 20 feet wide at its base would be ridiculously topple-prone. But I do remember Martin writing that it was infused with heavy-duty magic, the kind of old school spells that the Hogwarts castle and grounds are working with.
Moving on to Theon, it seems that his game should have ended before it even began. The big “X,” the flaying, it’s all first-grade stuff for someone who allegedly studied at the knee of a Citadel master. He’s at the Dreadfort, being flayed by a Bolton (who we know is Ramsey aka Reek). First-grade stuff, really.
My next note reads: “I don’t get this thing with Jaime Lannister.” And I don’t. So see my questions.
Moving on to probably the best actor in the series, at least for my money, Charles Dance as Tywin Lannister. The way he asks questions is hilarious, it’s like every time someone tells him something, they’ve just asked for $1,000 and a new passport. He goes: “…whyyy…” with this very ponderous, low-voiced, vaguely threatening purr that almost isn’t a question as much as a scold.
The scene with him and Lady Olenna was gold. Highlights included: “My stomach is quite strong,” (foreshadowing!!), “sword-swallower” and “prize flower” in reference to the Knight of Flowers, and “As an authority on myself I may have to disagree,” as Lady Olenna refuses to be told how to think. However, as usual, Tywin holds the trump card, with the threat to cancel all further lineage of a Tyrell House by conscripting Loras to the Kingsguard. Olenna held her own, but just didn’t have the cards to play in this hand. She lives to fight another day, however.
My next note is a verbatim thought taken straight from my brain to the computer as Jon and Ygritte somehow didn’t splat to the ground from 500 feet up the north face of the Wall:
“LESS THAN NEGATIVE INFINITY PERCENT CHANCE THAT WALL SCENE HAPPENS – rope would fray and snap instantly with that much weight, then Ygritte would pull Jon down without a doubt.”
Moving on, I’ve found another I CALLED IT! moment: the way Tywin uses his children as nothing more than pawns, with no regard for any of them (save maybe Jaime): “Father doesn’t discriminate – we’re all being shipped off to hell together.” That was Cersei, talking to her little brother, who FINALLY finds out once and for all who commissioned his head cleaved in at the Blackwater.
This is a great thing that the show has done well in adapting from the book – the idea that you don’t really know what happened until several weeks (chapters) later – I remember reading the books and having to keep going in order to figure out the whole picture of one subplot, and then once I’d figured it out I would already be on to another one. This scene with Tyrion finding out that Joffrey tried to kill him like 8 episodes ago is the same thing and I love it.
NONSEQUITUR NOTE: I need more Shae!! She was always awesome and now she’s got about 2 lines every 3 episodes.
Now we get to the part of the episode that really made it stand out for me as a solid contender for best episode of the season so far. Namely, Littlefinger.
First of all, his voice is Batmanish – with every scene, it seems to get lower and gravellier.
The maneuvering on his part in this episode was absolutely RUTHLESS, and that voiceover monologue was the best (yet cheesiest) (yet still awesome) way to capture that.
“Chaos is a ladder. Many who get to climb it fail, never to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, but they refuse. They cling to the realm, or the gods, or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.”
My exact words after Sansa’s grief-torn face watches Baelish’s ship sail off with her dreams: “What a fuckin… …… what…… … holy shit.”'
If this is all they kept Ros around for, and they knew it way back when they started her storyline in the show, then good Lord someone deserves a raise.
Moving on.
A couple things about the climax atop the wall:
1. Looking back at the wildling lands, you look down on the tops of mountains. Either they have 650-foot tall mountains, or the land slopes SHARPLY down and the wall is built on a bigass ridge.
2. Is the wall some sort of meteorological barrier? I suppose it could be, at that height, but it was funny that the North looked like Greenland and the South looked like Toledo, Ohio.
3. Holy shit I would not make out with someone up there. One slip and it’s good night Charlie.
Questions:
1. Where is the plot going now that Thoros apparently failed in his mission to convert the King of Westeros to the religion of the Red God? Why was that necessary to bring up at all? Highly confused.
2. On a similar note, remember the “devil” to the Red God’s “god” in the books? It’s called “The Great Other.” And the “white walkers” in the show are actually called “Others” in the books. AND from what I understand, the realm in the books is totally doomed unless they all somehow band together and fight off the Others – this is why the wildlings moved south of the wall, and it’s basically the huge main conflict that will end the last two books. So my question is, with all this Red God talk lately in the show, why no mention of the connection between the Great Other and the white walkers, since both thrive in cold and darkness and the latter are clearly a physical manifestation of the former?
3. What is the purpose of showing so much Theon torture? Just to give the audience a glimpse of how awful the Bastard of Bolton is?
4. What is going on with Jaime? Why does Roose Bolton think that if he just lets Jaime stroll into King’s Landing, and all he gets in return is the “promise” (and we know how good Jaime is at keeping promises) to clear Roose’s name, that that’s a good deal?
5. I feel like Baelish and Varys are the two most important players in this titular Game. I also think I remember not realizing until much later in the books that Baelish is an absolute MASTERMIND villain. It’s starting now to look like these 2 are the good and evil at the top of the food chain in King’s Landing. Is this how you view it? Was it this obvious to you in the books, and am I just a hopeless optimist who expects everyone to be a combination of Ned Stark and Mr. Rogers?
I figured since we’d be talking about Game of Thrones, I should keep some notes during the show. This could be a fun thing – we can work off these and talk about some stuff this way. Maybe next week you can do the notes and then shoot them over to me, and we can start from there.
Also, for clarity, my questions to you will be at the end.
Let me have the first “I called it” moment of this young feature: I CALLED IT! TRAVELING EPISODE! For God’s sake it was called “The Climb,” and the first three scenes (Sam and Gilly, Bran and Jojen, Arya and the Brotherhood) show a nation on the move – but to what goal? I think people might forget – I kind of do – that Bran is running from Theon and his men towards Jon, whom he was just alerted last night is now north of the Wall and surrounded by enemies. That was a big example of dramatic irony, where the audience knows something the character doesn’t, and it robbed the scene of any impact it could have had.
Moving on, Ygritte is my favorite character. Maybe not in the books, but definitely in the show. “
Don’t ever betray me – cuz I’ll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it around my neck.” This sentence, combined with her statement about the fact that she and Jon have to look after each other, is her in a nutshell. Fiercely loyal to those she cares about, she demands that same level of loyalty, and she’s not afraid to get nasty. In a few different ways.
My next note revolves around the GIANT plot twist that occurred in the next scene.
WAIT WHAT – THOROS OF MYR JUST GOT A RAISE. Why is he all of a sudden the center of a new subplot? Although this is perfect for my discussion from last week, where I asked why everyone doesn’t just adopt the Red God.
In the books it was always a little questionable which deity/ deities were the best: the old Gods, the Seven, or the Lord of Light. Now, from these quotes, it seems pretty obvious: “Our God is the one true God.” This happened in the conversation between Melisandre and Thoros, and I think she said it to him. Seems like a pretty legit statement, especially when coinciding with Thoros’s abilities in the resurrection department.
“You will make kings rise and fall.” This was Melisandre to Gendry, and I was a little confused about this. I researched it a bit, and I’m still not all the way convinced, except I think she means to use Gendry (Robert Baratheon’s bastard son) in some kind of R’hllor-based ritual – maybe more shadowbabymaking?
SIDENOTE: Thrones threw in a “back from the other side” bit from Beric, who’s died a handful of times.
It’s interesting that Melisandre assumed that there is something over there, and Beric said: “There is no other side. Only darkness.” This has to be about the most horrifying answer imaginable for a priestess who’s dedicated her life to serving the Lord of Light.
Another random note I had: “The wall would have to be so much more slanted for it to work. Although it’s magic.” AKA, a structure that’s 700 feet tall and (conservatively) 20 feet wide at its base would be ridiculously topple-prone. But I do remember Martin writing that it was infused with heavy-duty magic, the kind of old school spells that the Hogwarts castle and grounds are working with.
Moving on to Theon, it seems that his game should have ended before it even began. The big “X,” the flaying, it’s all first-grade stuff for someone who allegedly studied at the knee of a Citadel master. He’s at the Dreadfort, being flayed by a Bolton (who we know is Ramsey aka Reek). First-grade stuff, really.
My next note reads: “I don’t get this thing with Jaime Lannister.” And I don’t. So see my questions.
Moving on to probably the best actor in the series, at least for my money, Charles Dance as Tywin Lannister. The way he asks questions is hilarious, it’s like every time someone tells him something, they’ve just asked for $1,000 and a new passport. He goes: “…whyyy…” with this very ponderous, low-voiced, vaguely threatening purr that almost isn’t a question as much as a scold.
The scene with him and Lady Olenna was gold. Highlights included: “My stomach is quite strong,” (foreshadowing!!), “sword-swallower” and “prize flower” in reference to the Knight of Flowers, and “As an authority on myself I may have to disagree,” as Lady Olenna refuses to be told how to think. However, as usual, Tywin holds the trump card, with the threat to cancel all further lineage of a Tyrell House by conscripting Loras to the Kingsguard. Olenna held her own, but just didn’t have the cards to play in this hand. She lives to fight another day, however.
My next note is a verbatim thought taken straight from my brain to the computer as Jon and Ygritte somehow didn’t splat to the ground from 500 feet up the north face of the Wall:
“LESS THAN NEGATIVE INFINITY PERCENT CHANCE THAT WALL SCENE HAPPENS – rope would fray and snap instantly with that much weight, then Ygritte would pull Jon down without a doubt.”
Moving on, I’ve found another I CALLED IT! moment: the way Tywin uses his children as nothing more than pawns, with no regard for any of them (save maybe Jaime): “Father doesn’t discriminate – we’re all being shipped off to hell together.” That was Cersei, talking to her little brother, who FINALLY finds out once and for all who commissioned his head cleaved in at the Blackwater.
This is a great thing that the show has done well in adapting from the book – the idea that you don’t really know what happened until several weeks (chapters) later – I remember reading the books and having to keep going in order to figure out the whole picture of one subplot, and then once I’d figured it out I would already be on to another one. This scene with Tyrion finding out that Joffrey tried to kill him like 8 episodes ago is the same thing and I love it.
NONSEQUITUR NOTE: I need more Shae!! She was always awesome and now she’s got about 2 lines every 3 episodes.
Now we get to the part of the episode that really made it stand out for me as a solid contender for best episode of the season so far. Namely, Littlefinger.
First of all, his voice is Batmanish – with every scene, it seems to get lower and gravellier.
The maneuvering on his part in this episode was absolutely RUTHLESS, and that voiceover monologue was the best (yet cheesiest) (yet still awesome) way to capture that.
“Chaos is a ladder. Many who get to climb it fail, never to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, but they refuse. They cling to the realm, or the gods, or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.”
My exact words after Sansa’s grief-torn face watches Baelish’s ship sail off with her dreams: “What a fuckin… …… what…… … holy shit.”'
If this is all they kept Ros around for, and they knew it way back when they started her storyline in the show, then good Lord someone deserves a raise.
Moving on.
A couple things about the climax atop the wall:
1. Looking back at the wildling lands, you look down on the tops of mountains. Either they have 650-foot tall mountains, or the land slopes SHARPLY down and the wall is built on a bigass ridge.
2. Is the wall some sort of meteorological barrier? I suppose it could be, at that height, but it was funny that the North looked like Greenland and the South looked like Toledo, Ohio.
3. Holy shit I would not make out with someone up there. One slip and it’s good night Charlie.
Questions:
1. Where is the plot going now that Thoros apparently failed in his mission to convert the King of Westeros to the religion of the Red God? Why was that necessary to bring up at all? Highly confused.
2. On a similar note, remember the “devil” to the Red God’s “god” in the books? It’s called “The Great Other.” And the “white walkers” in the show are actually called “Others” in the books. AND from what I understand, the realm in the books is totally doomed unless they all somehow band together and fight off the Others – this is why the wildlings moved south of the wall, and it’s basically the huge main conflict that will end the last two books. So my question is, with all this Red God talk lately in the show, why no mention of the connection between the Great Other and the white walkers, since both thrive in cold and darkness and the latter are clearly a physical manifestation of the former?
3. What is the purpose of showing so much Theon torture? Just to give the audience a glimpse of how awful the Bastard of Bolton is?
4. What is going on with Jaime? Why does Roose Bolton think that if he just lets Jaime stroll into King’s Landing, and all he gets in return is the “promise” (and we know how good Jaime is at keeping promises) to clear Roose’s name, that that’s a good deal?
5. I feel like Baelish and Varys are the two most important players in this titular Game. I also think I remember not realizing until much later in the books that Baelish is an absolute MASTERMIND villain. It’s starting now to look like these 2 are the good and evil at the top of the food chain in King’s Landing. Is this how you view it? Was it this obvious to you in the books, and am I just a hopeless optimist who expects everyone to be a combination of Ned Stark and Mr. Rogers?
Sunday, May 5, 2013
NEW FEATURE: "Game of Thrones" Analysis, featuring Drew Galloway
So "Game of Thrones" is the best show on television. If you're not watching it, you should be. Also, if you're not watching it, stop reading now, unless you're starved for world-class television analysis.
Drew (one of my best friends from BC) and I talk about the show and the books constantly, and actually have some good insights, so I figured I should share these with the Thrones-loving fans of the world.
Read on for talk of Lannisters, Starks, Hounds, Red Gods, and general mystery and intrigue.
Drew (one of my best friends from BC) and I talk about the show and the books constantly, and actually have some good insights, so I figured I should share these with the Thrones-loving fans of the world.
Read on for talk of Lannisters, Starks, Hounds, Red Gods, and general mystery and intrigue.
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