Sunday, May 12, 2013

"Game of Thrones" Analysis (Not) featuring Drew Galloway

Slight change of plan. Turns out Drew has an actual big boy job where he has to, you know, work and stuff. So his time to answer stupendously long emails is limited.

So, here's my email to him from last week, regarding GoT episode 306 "The Climb."

He gets a pass for last week, and I'm going to be ABSOLUTELY SURE to cut down my questions to the 2 most vital ones, so that we can fire back some email exchanges for your reading pleasure.

Now, I'm off to watch episode 307.

Dracarys.




Robbie Vogel <robbievogel@gmail.com>
May 7 (5 days ago)
to Drew
Hey there,

I figured since we’d be talking about Game of Thrones, I should keep some notes during the show. This could be a fun thing – we can work off these and talk about some stuff this way. Maybe next week you can do the notes and then shoot them over to me, and we can start from there.


Also, for clarity, my questions to you will be at the end.

Let me have the first “I called it” moment of this young feature: I CALLED IT! TRAVELING EPISODE! For God’s sake it was called “The Climb,” and the first three scenes (Sam and Gilly, Bran and Jojen, Arya and the Brotherhood) show a nation on the move – but to what goal? I think people might forget – I kind of do – that Bran is running from Theon and his men towards Jon, whom he was just alerted last night is now north of the Wall and surrounded by enemies. That was a big example of dramatic irony, where the audience knows something the character doesn’t, and it robbed the scene of any impact it could have had.

Moving on, Ygritte is my favorite character. Maybe not in the books, but definitely in the show. “
Don’t ever betray me – cuz I’ll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it around my neck.” This sentence, combined with her statement about the fact that she and Jon have to look after each other, is her in a nutshell. Fiercely loyal to those she cares about, she demands that same level of loyalty, and she’s not afraid to get nasty. In a few different ways.

My next note revolves around the GIANT plot twist that occurred in the next scene.

WAIT WHAT – THOROS OF MYR JUST GOT A RAISE. Why is he all of a sudden the center of a new subplot? Although this is perfect for my discussion from last week, where I asked why everyone doesn’t just adopt the Red God.

In the books it was always a little questionable which deity/ deities were the best: the old Gods, the Seven, or the Lord of Light. Now, from these quotes, it seems pretty obvious: “Our God is the one true God.” This happened in the conversation between Melisandre and Thoros, and I think she said it to him. Seems like a pretty legit statement, especially when coinciding with Thoros’s abilities in the resurrection department.

“You will make kings rise and fall.” This was Melisandre to Gendry, and I was a little confused about this. I researched it a bit, and I’m still not all the way convinced, except I think she means to use Gendry (Robert Baratheon’s bastard son) in some kind of R’hllor-based ritual – maybe more shadowbabymaking?
SIDENOTE: Thrones threw in a “back from the other side” bit from Beric, who’s died a handful of times.

It’s interesting that Melisandre assumed that there is something over there, and Beric said: “There is no other side. Only darkness.” This has to be about the most horrifying answer imaginable for a priestess who’s dedicated her life to serving the Lord of Light.

Another random note I had: “The wall would have to be so much more slanted for it to work. Although it’s magic.” AKA, a structure that’s 700 feet tall and (conservatively) 20 feet wide at its base would be ridiculously topple-prone. But I do remember Martin writing that it was infused with heavy-duty magic, the kind of old school spells that the Hogwarts castle and grounds are working with.

Moving on to Theon, it seems that his game should have ended before it even began. The big “X,” the flaying, it’s all first-grade stuff for someone who allegedly studied at the knee of a Citadel master. He’s at the Dreadfort, being flayed by a Bolton (who we know is Ramsey aka Reek). First-grade stuff, really.

My next note reads: “I don’t get this thing with Jaime Lannister.” And I don’t. So see my questions.

Moving on to probably the best actor in the series, at least for my money, Charles Dance as Tywin Lannister. The way he asks questions is hilarious, it’s like every time someone tells him something, they’ve just asked for $1,000 and a new passport. He goes: “…whyyy…” with this very ponderous, low-voiced, vaguely threatening purr that almost isn’t a question as much as a scold.

The scene with him and Lady Olenna was gold. Highlights included: “My stomach is quite strong,” (foreshadowing!!), “sword-swallower” and “prize flower” in reference to the Knight of Flowers, and “As an authority on myself I may have to disagree,” as Lady Olenna refuses to be told how to think. However, as usual, Tywin holds the trump card, with the threat to cancel all further lineage of a Tyrell House by conscripting Loras to the Kingsguard. Olenna held her own, but just didn’t have the cards to play in this hand. She lives to fight another day, however.

My next note is a verbatim thought taken straight from my brain to the computer as Jon and Ygritte somehow didn’t splat to the ground from 500 feet up the north face of the Wall:

“LESS THAN NEGATIVE INFINITY PERCENT CHANCE THAT WALL SCENE HAPPENS – rope would fray and snap instantly with that much weight, then Ygritte would pull Jon down without a doubt.”

Moving on, I’ve found another I CALLED IT! moment: the way Tywin uses his children as nothing more than pawns, with no regard for any of them (save maybe Jaime): “Father doesn’t discriminate – we’re all being shipped off to hell together.” That was Cersei, talking to her little brother, who FINALLY finds out once and for all who commissioned his head cleaved in at the Blackwater.

This is a great thing that the show has done well in adapting from the book – the idea that you don’t really know what happened until several weeks (chapters) later – I remember reading the books and having to keep going in order to figure out the whole picture of one subplot, and then once I’d figured it out I would already be on to another one. This scene with Tyrion finding out that Joffrey tried to kill him like 8 episodes ago is the same thing and I love it.

NONSEQUITUR NOTE: I need more Shae!! She was always awesome and now she’s got about 2 lines every 3 episodes.

Now we get to the part of the episode that really made it stand out for me as a solid contender for best episode of the season so far. Namely, Littlefinger.

First of all, his voice is Batmanish – with every scene, it seems to get lower and gravellier.

The maneuvering on his part in this episode was absolutely RUTHLESS, and that voiceover monologue was the best (yet cheesiest) (yet still awesome) way to capture that.

“Chaos is a ladder. Many who get to climb it fail, never to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, but they refuse. They cling to the realm, or the gods, or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.”

My exact words after Sansa’s grief-torn face watches Baelish’s ship sail off with her dreams: “What a fuckin… …… what…… … holy shit.”'

If this is all they kept Ros around for, and they knew it way back when they started her storyline in the show, then good Lord someone deserves a raise.

Moving on.

A couple things about the climax atop the wall:

 1. Looking back at the wildling lands, you look down on the tops of mountains. Either they have 650-foot tall mountains, or the land slopes SHARPLY down and the wall is built on a bigass ridge.
2. Is the wall some sort of meteorological barrier? I suppose it could be, at that height, but it was funny that the North looked like Greenland and the South looked like Toledo, Ohio.
3. Holy shit I would not make out with someone up there. One slip and it’s good night Charlie.

Questions:
1.       Where is the plot going now that Thoros apparently failed in his mission to convert the King of Westeros to the religion of the Red God? Why was that necessary to bring up at all? Highly confused.

2.       On a similar note, remember the “devil” to the Red God’s “god” in the books? It’s called “The Great Other.” And the “white walkers” in the show are actually called “Others” in the books. AND from what I understand, the realm in the books is totally doomed unless they all somehow band together and fight off the Others – this is why the wildlings moved south of the wall, and it’s basically the huge main conflict that will end the last two books. So my question is, with all this Red God talk lately in the show, why no mention of the connection between the Great Other and the white walkers, since both thrive in cold and darkness and the latter are clearly a physical manifestation of the former?

3.       What is the purpose of showing so much Theon torture? Just to give the audience a glimpse of how awful the Bastard of Bolton is?

4.       What is going on with Jaime? Why does Roose Bolton think that if he just lets Jaime stroll into King’s Landing, and all he gets in return is the “promise” (and we know how good Jaime is at keeping promises) to clear Roose’s name, that that’s a good deal?

5.       I feel like Baelish and Varys are the two most important players in this titular Game. I also think I remember not realizing until much later in the books that Baelish is an absolute MASTERMIND villain. It’s starting now to look like these 2 are the good and evil at the top of the food chain in King’s Landing. Is this how you view it? Was it this obvious to you in the books, and am I just a hopeless optimist who expects everyone to be a combination of Ned Stark and Mr. Rogers?

Sunday, May 5, 2013

NEW FEATURE: "Game of Thrones" Analysis, featuring Drew Galloway

So "Game of Thrones" is the best show on television. If you're not watching it, you should be. Also, if you're not watching it, stop reading now, unless you're starved for world-class television analysis.

Drew (one of my best friends from BC) and I talk about the show and the books constantly, and actually have some good insights, so I figured I should share these with the Thrones-loving fans of the world.

Read on for talk of Lannisters, Starks, Hounds, Red Gods, and general mystery and intrigue.


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

I Guess That's How it Works


So I've been getting about 5 emails a day from BC telling me to give money,
 because clearly the people who want to donate tons of money to their college
 are those who are less than a year out and in debt up to their eyeballs. 

So when I got my 9 millionth one of these emails, rather than deleting it, I
 decided to shoot back a stupid response. I 100% believed that it would go
 to a nonworking email address, or that I would get a  DELIVERY STATUS
NOTIFICATION FAILURE notice (or something), or that no one would read it. 

Turns out, I was wrong.




Dear Robert,


It's time to strike BC GOLD!

Again this year, BC GOLD (Graduates of the Last Decade) classes are participating in the BC GOLD Rush Challenge. This is our chance to raise class participation and establish life-changing scholarships. For each class that meets its participation goal, an anonymous donor will give BC $25,000 to help a student in financial need.

But we need your help. The Class of 2012 needs just 367 gifts by May 31 to meet this Challenge. In addition, your name will be listed side-by-side with those of your friends and classmates on the Boston College Honor Roll of Donors.

The GOLD Rush Challenge is all about participation. The more GOLD alumni that donate, the more we can earn for scholarships at BC. A gift of any size will make a huge difference, so please donate what you can.

Participate in the GOLD Rush Challenge by making your gift today.

Thanks in advance for your support.

Best,

Danielle V. Auriemma '10
BC GOLD Leadership Council Co-Chair



This message has been sent by Boston College to alumni and friends of the University.
To be taken off of this list, please click here to change your email preferences.

Robbie Vogel <robbievogel@gmail.com>
10:29 AM (2 hours ago)
to bcfund
Yo, I just spent a quarter of a million dollars to go to that school. I barely have a job, and my parents are struggling to pay BC and will be struggling probably until they die. They just refinanced their house and did a bunch of other stuff like that. So I'm not donating to BC pretty much ever, but certainly not until like 15 years from now at least. So please take me off your list, if that's how this works. 
bcfund
11:46 AM (1 hour ago)
to me
Good afternoon Robbie,

I wanted to let you know I received your message and I have submitted a request to have you taken off the email and mailing list. I wanted to also make you aware of the fact that it can sometimes take a couple of days before your name is removed from the list. Therefore, you may receive some correspondence until my request is processed.

Additionally, I wanted to say that I wish you and your parents the best of luck.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Best,

Anyenda Inyagwa
Boston College Fund



That kind of seems like a form letter response, except for the 2nd to last sentence. I bet a lot of people do this kind of thing. You should try it!

PS: I'm JUST NOW seeing that little notice at the bottom of the email that says "To be taken off this list, click here." So, I'm dumb. Fair enough. 

Monday, April 8, 2013

Best Month Ever

I'm having the undisputed best month ever. Let's review the tape.

  • Got my first paycheck for the new job.
  • Got to watch the Red Sox play the Yanks on my brand new HD tv while working from home
  • Played music for some people and got paid for it
  • Then went to a friends house and played more music/ hung out with friends
  • Then watched the Final 4 and played beer pong
  • Then watched the 2nd episode of the 3rd season of the best show ever aka GAME OF THRONES
  • Currently have the Red Sox home opener on the tv while working
  • Tonight, going to watch the National Championship with some friends at a bar
    • If Michigan wins, I win 2 of my 3 bracket pools and collect upwards of $150
  • Tomorrow, playing a soccer game
  • Thursday-Sunday is the 20th anniversary of the founding of my college a cappella group, the BC Acoustics, and there are like 7 events spread out over the 5 days where we are going to have the most fun ever had by any single group of people. 
  • Monday is marathon Monday aka early sox game and marathon coverage
  • Next weekend Sarah and I are going to Falmouth for a little weekend getaway, where we can hang out and go to dinner and lunch and sightsee etc
Great month, eh?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Things I Ponder at 2:00 AM (1:00 AM Edition)



I often think about the layout or position of a piece of furniture, a room, or a building in terms of its cardinal direction. For example, I figured out that when my girlfriend and I slept in our separate beds in our own houses 2 miles apart, we were (roughly) facing each other. The foot of my bed pointed south, the foot of hers north, and we were nearly on a north/south straight line with each other. This wasn’t done from Google Maps or anything like that, it was just the way my brain worked in those last fading moments before shutting down for sleep. Though it’s not true of this particular effort, I believe that those final moments are some of the most powerful our brain has on a daily basis.
I guess I’ve always been fascinated with maps, and the way things are oriented with respect to other things. I love playing golf for a hundred different reasons, but one of them is that you get to walk around an enormous stretch of ground in a supremely convoluted way, and often pass holes that seem like they should be on the other side of the course, based on the numbering.
At my home course, the greens of the 7th and 15th holes are separated by 30 feet and a cartpath. If you knew only this fact, and weren’t familiar with golf, you’d think the designer was insane. But when you walk the course, it makes perfect sense, so much so that you rarely even notice what holes you’re running alongside, even though you may have played them 2 hours previous. This same course used to have a sign that sat at a crucial junction where players playing the 8th and 13th holes both needed to walk through which had the names of famous golf courses around the world, the directions to those courses, and the number of yards to get there. I remember Pebble Beach and St. Andrews were both on there, and obviously their markers were pointing in nearly opposite directions as this course is near Boston, Massachusetts. The memory of this post will probably never leave me, even though it was only up for a few summers when I was a teenager and I saw it less than 40 times (as a guess).
Something about the fact that you can connect places that are so incredibly distant with nothing more than a directional indicator and a number is incredible to me. I imagine that the people who make these types of signposts (of which there are many) aren’t overly concerned about accuracy, and that’s almost more intriguing. Because, when you think about it, there’s nearly a zero percent chance that that one battered signpost on a municipal golf course in Scituate, Massachusetts could really have a sign that pointed directly at the heart of Pebble Beach Golf Links, a course that is (OK, now I’m using Google Maps) 3,227 miles away (and 47 hours away, in current traffic. Also, this route has tolls. Ya think, Google?). So if we imagine that the sign at my golf course has an invisible string arrowing in a directly straight line from the tip of the sign’s point off around the curve of the globe, what does it really point to? How far off latitudinally are we? Still in California? Still in the United States?
We’ll never know, because that sign has inexplicably been taken down. But it’s incredibly interesting (for me, at least) to ponder. And even though I spend hours poring over Google Maps, I don’t want to use it for something like this. I want to believe in the power of not knowing something. Maybe that sign really did point directly to the heart of Pebble Beach. Maybe the string stretched out and landed on something else awesome, like Dodger Stadium or John Elway’s old dorm at Stanford. And what did it pass over in the middle to get there? Who knows. That’s the beauty.
I think about this kind of thing sometimes when I’m in social situations. Lately, we’ve been gathering at a house in Hull where two of my good friends live. We’ll usually have a few people over and do the usual things: watch sports and movies, play video games and beer pong, you know the drill. But these are not our only friends. Three of our best friends have moved to various places (Maryland, New York, and Los Angeles). Then, of course, there are all the friends we’ve made in school. This is a variation, I suppose, on the thought that most people have of everyone looking up and seeing the same moon in the sky. I just think of it differently. Like, if I turn around on this couch and arrow my hand out in what I believe to be the direction of Los Angeles, am I pointing at one of my best friends? Can he feel that I’m thinking about him? When we’re playing beer pong, and I’m shooting (roughly) to the southwest, am I shooting at my friend’s apartment in Manhattan? If this ball could take off through the ceiling and travel across state lines, where would it land?
These are the things I think about.
Weird, aren’t they?
Good thing none of it matters, since Snapchat exists.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

New Short Story

I've been working on this one for a while, and just finished it. Some sci-fi, some sentimental type stuff, and a plot that focuses around a hot-button political issue, even though I'm one of the most apolitical people I know. Check it out if you wish.


Monday, April 1, 2013

Lessons that Game of Thrones Teaches Business Owners


In a similar situation to my last post, I thought of too many ideas for a Vistaprint post and trimmed it down before sending it in. Here's the unabridged version, with 5 extra examples that I didn't put in the actual post.